PARIS, FRENCH REPUBLIC, July 15 (HNS) -- Prime Minister Bernard Debré announced today that elections for a new President will be held next week, after "giving enough time to mourn the loss of a great man." Debré was referring to President Charles De Gaulle, who died of a heart attack on live national television last Friday.
De Gaulle's death caused nation-wide rioting but the military was able to suppress the riots after Debré survived an assassination attempt from a right-wing fringe group, the Priory of Sion. Since then, things have slowly been returning to normal in the French Republic.
According to a press release from the government of the French Republic, thanks to members of the Joint Expeditionary Team, the Grand Master of the Priory of Sion, Pierre Plantard, is in police custody.Ambassador Paul-Michel Foucault, formerly the French Republic's Ambassador to the shard of "Utopian" San Diego, had tried to warn the French Republic about the Priory upon receiving information from the JET, and has been appointed to be the French Republic's "Ambassador At Large to the Joint Expeditionary Team".
"The Priory of Sion is an organization founded on a well-known hoax," said Dr. Terence Simonds of the Political Science Department at Penn State. "Both in pre-Event reality, and in its current incarnation in De Gaulle France, it was created to support Plantard's spurious claims to the throne of France and, in its most ridiculous form, to extend the even more spurious claim that he is a descendant of Christ. He's likely to be the laughing stock of France before they execute him for treason."
