COALING STATION, DRY TORTUGAS, July 14 (HNS) -- Today the former US coaling station in the tiny sea thread of Dry Tortugas has been captured by forces flying the flag of United Kingdom of Great Britain. The forces, consisting of several steam ships and sailing vessels, came from the thread known in some quarters as "Mad Science London."
"The battle was brief," said Private Henry Bronner, a long-time resident of the Thread. "We'd be expecting an attack from Apophis for a long time. They fired some artillery to soften us up, and then used some sort of device to request our surrender in the name of their King... It was loud."
"We were so relieved they weren't monsters," said Private Ethan Kepner, another resident of Dry Tortugas. "We surrendered almost immediately. There was some grumblings when half the steamships offloaded metal men, and there was a brief riot when the green-skinned folk got off that one ship, but the metal men put a quick stop to that with their rifles."
By the time the press got on the scene, there was no evidence of "green-skinned folk", though brass, clockwork soldiers were in evidence.
"The remaining half were normal folk," said Private Bronner. "They were willing to swear us in a British citizens. We figured we didn't have any choice... And I have to admit, I haven't been fed this well in years."
"Dry Tortugas was a low-priority target for most powers in the area," said Dr. Glenn Christmann, PhD, a political commentator and professor at the Penn State Department of Political Science. "But for Mad Science London, it represents a foothold and a statement of intent. By all accounts, they intend to start fighting the French Empire in earnest as soon as possible, and a coaling station like Dry Tortugas is invaluable to them."
Mad Science London, officially the United Kingdom of Great Britain, is an unusual thread consisting of the core islands of the United Kingdom except Ireland. Despite having broke in 1845 with a current year of 1850, the thread rates a 6 on the Penn State Tech Level scale, with a very high Kellner rating and an equally high capacity for the use of hypertech devices. It is ruled by Sir Goldsworthy Gurney, as Prime Minister and Regent for nine-year-old King Edward VII.
